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I was having dinner with some friends recently; one of them had just bought a car, a rather nice car in fact with a prancing horse on the bonnet. Another had just placed a deposit on a house.

Both were very happy, in fact they seemed delighted. As they waxed lyrical about their respective purchases I noticed something, neither of them talked about money.

Don’t get me wrong, nobody at the table was wealthy enough to go and buy anything as significant as a car or a house without having to consider its cost, and as nobody appeared to have won the lottery, it got me thinking.

I began to notice their choice of words, both described how they had taken their time before they decided what to ‘buy’. They said that the whole processing of ‘buying’ had been really straightforward and that they ended up having ‘bought’ just what they wanted.

Was it just me or had I not once heard either of my friends use the word ‘Sell’? Or the term ‘Sales Process’ or even the word ‘Salesman’? There was something significant in the language they used to describe their experiences, but what did it all mean?

Consider the phrase ‘I was sold a car’ and then compare it to the one ‘I bought a car’. Don’t they feel different? The word ‘sold’ feels reluctant, uncomfortable, regretful. Whilst the word ‘bought’ feels more celebratory, self-directed and satisfied. Both of my friends had just bought something they were very happy with. Both had spent large sums of money, but neither was regretting it.

So here is my theory; when you are happy with a purchase it is something you have ‘bought’ when you are unhappy or unsure then it is because you were ‘sold’ something you probably didn’t really want.

The question of course is why does this happens? Is there a difference in the sales process, the product, the budget, why does one customer leave a showroom happy with what they have bought and another leaves less than ecstatic?

Steve told me about his buying experience; how he had made an appointment at the dealer to see a small selection of cars, when he arrived he found an even larger selection was on hand. He spent some time browsing the stock, asking questions, sitting in cars and comparing models. Eventually he and Mark (he never referred to him as a salesman) took a car out for a drive; this was followed by two more cars, neither of which had been on his original wish list. Four hours and three test drives later he’d bought the car.

Sarah’s story had some striking similarities, the agent had shown her around three different show homes, each different in size, design and price. They had then spent some time looking at available plots and considering the benefits of each, south facing garden, easier parking, less overlooked etc. They drank coffee, looked at carpet samples and considered fencing options. In less than an afternoon Sarah had committed to a purchase that was equivalent to 5 year’s salary.

I decided to ask them outright. Did either of them feel ‘sold’ too? No came the reply. Would they recommend buying from there to a friend? Yes. Not only had both of my friends become customers of the respective businesses, but they were now fully paid up members of the advocates club!

So if customers hate being ‘sold’ to but enjoy ‘buying’ isn’t it time we changed what we do?

What would happen if we banned the word ‘Sell’ from our dealerships? Stopped having ‘Sales’ targets, stopped having ‘Sales’ meetings and stopped employing ‘Sales’ Executives? Instead of selling what would happen if we asked our staff to share?

Share what you have for sale with your customers, share the experience of a test drive, share with them product information, share with them finance quotes. Share with them and then let them BUY. Wouldn’t that feel good?

As customers arrive in our showrooms better informed, often pre-qualified and almost certainly somewhat negative towards ‘sales people’ isn’t it time we changed the role of the sales person? Let’s stop selling and start sharing, it will feel better for both parties.

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